Back To December
by idoitforlove
Summary: "So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night!I go back to December all the time.It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine"-Taylor Swift. songfic.


_I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life? Tell me how's your family? I haven't seen them in a while._

It was the first time either had seen each other since that night. Too say things were tense between the former lovers would be a big understatement.

_You've been good, busier than ever. We small talk, work and the weather._

They make idle chitchat whilst avoiding looking the other in the eyes. Both afraid of what they might see. Both for different reasons.

_Your guard is up and I know why._

He leans back on his chair, as far as he can get away from her at the small table, smiles winningly, though she can tell it's fake, at the hostess, who in turn signals a waitress to come take the quiet couples order.

"**I love you so much" he stated as he leaned over to kiss her softly on the forehead.**

**She pulled the sheets tighter around her shoulders and lets her back face him, not responding to his words of endearment.**

**She wasn't putting her herself out there to get hurt, not again would she make that fatal mistake.**

_Cause the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind. You gave me roses and I left them there to die._

He sipped his black coffee carefully and slowly, as if trying to give himself something to do. She dropped a sugar cube into her already sweetened coffee, and another.

'If this was one of their regular morning coffee outings, he might have teased her for making her coffee so sweet, and she would probably have done something immature like stick her tongue out at him' she mused silently, finally looking at him closely. She recognized the black leather jacket he was wearing as the one he had worn the last time they'd seen each other, two months ago.

**He got down on one knee, holding open a small black velvet box with a beautiful, elegantly carved diamond nestled in between silver moulded into 'petals' with diamond incrusting's. It was gorgeous, and Ginny knew she couldn't possibly have found a ring she liked more than this one.**

"**Will you, umm" he cleared his throat and then continued in a nervous manner. " Will you, Ginevra Molly Weasley, mar-"**

"**Don't" she choked out, interrupting his nervous tirade. "Don't, please, just don't!" **

**She ran out of the intimate classy diner, her favourite, in tears. She apparated to The Burrow.**

**She knocked on the door frantically, "Mom! Mom, open up!" **

**The old rickety door swung open and Molly Weasley barely had time to take a breath before Ginny yelled "I'm in love with Draco Malfoy!" and then apparted away. **

_So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. And I go back to December all the time._

"Look, what happened in December, let's just forget it alright?" he started, treading carefully with his words, but Ginny knew where this was going.

"It was wrong of me to propose to you when I wasn't sure if you were ready or not and I want to thank you for that, because to be honest, we were never going to work out. I want to thank you because I'm getting married and now we're both happy." He said looking at her closely to see how she assessed his words after he finished his little 'speech'.

There were tears pouring from her eyes. That was the only thing giving away her distress at his words.

"You're getting married?" she asked him in an oddly calm, yet emotionless voice.

He nodded solemnly, "to Astoria Greengrass".

"Congratulations" was all she choked out before getting up abruptly and exiting the small café so quickly, he didn't have time to blink before he got up out of his seat and chased after her.

"**Ginny! Ginny! Please! Come back! We have to talk about this!" he shouted into the street outside of his flat in London.**

"**NO!" came the only response he was probably going to get.**

**He jogged towards where the muffled shout had come from, and into the narrow alley between two tall buildings, and surely that was where his favourite redhead sat huddled on the wet concrete at the very end of the dark alley.**

"**You know she means nothing to me!" he said in a vain effort to get her to forgive him.**

"**Then stop being seen with her everywhere! Stop getting pictures of you and that little slut in the rag every fucking week! Just stop!" she shouted at him, finally lifting her head from her arms that were currently wrapped around her knees.**

"**Come on let's go, you'll catch a cold out here" he said as he tried for a more gentle approach to the fiery redhead.**

"**Fine" she said as she stood and started to dust herself off.**

**He smiled triumphantly.**

**That smile disappeared as she apparated away. **

_Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right._

He looked out onto the street, hoping to spot a flash of periwinkle robes in the night.

"Ginny!" he yelled into the night, feeling an odd sense of déjà vu as he jogged up and down the streets.

"**Come on Draco!" she said with a cute little pout, hoping to get him to go with her.**

"**No Ginny! How many times do I have to tell you that Malfoy's don't prance around in parks like silly children!" he said sternly, trying not to give into her 'sad' face.**

"**Fine! I'll just have to go by myself! I hope I meet a nice man who'll help me eat this picnic I packed for us!" she said, hitting a sore spot.**

"**Fine! Fine! I'll go with you! Happy now?" he growled out.**

"**Yup!" she smiled up at him. She pecked his cheek in a sweet way that made a small smile grace his lips.**

He knew that the park was only a few blocks away, and sure enough when he reached the small family park, he found Ginny sitting on one of the swings using her feet to gently push the swing back and forth.

She didn't respond at all when he sat down on the second swing beside her, making a creaking sound.

"Why are you here?" she said in a cold way.

"I'm here because you're here"

"Well go away 'cause I don't want to see you, go home to your little media whore" she said in a tone that would have chilled even Lucius' bones.

"Don't call her that!" he responded angrily, although he didn't care about what she said about Astoria.

"Why? Because you know it's true?" she shouted in his face.

"Why are you acting like this?" he said, in a truly puzzled tone.

"Because you're here" Ginny said curtly.

After her remark they both became silent for a few minutes, each swinging on the swings, and in their thoughts.

Ginny sighed and got up slowly, pretending she couldn't feel a pair of intense eyes watching her every move.

"I'm sorry" were her only parting words.

"For what?" his words stopped her in her tracks, "for running away when I proposed to you? Or for starting every goddamn fight we've had? Or maybe you're sorry for leading me on?"

"Don't"

"That's funny" he continued, "Isn't that what you told me when I tried proposing to you? That doesn't matter now though does it, because that ring is on the finger of someone who deserves it".

She turned around slowly, and only then did he stop to think he might have taken it too far with his last comment.

"What do you want from me?" she said in a quiet defeated voice, "Do you want me to run back into your arms and tell you everything is going to be okay for us? Because you know what? It's not. And it won't ever be, we aren't a good match. You were right; you and I both know that things between us would never work out."

She took a deep breath and continued.

"This is me swallowing my pride, the pride that 'started every goddamn fight we've ever had'," he flinched as his words were thrown back at his face "this is me standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I'm so bloody sorry! I can't even stand myself right now! I can't stand what I've become without you here with me! Without you here to call me out on all my crap, to tell me when I take things to far or when I need to just relax and take a breather! I'm so pathetic! I wanted freedom! I didn't want to get married and have to 'belong' to someone else! But freedom is nothing but missing you!"

_I go back to December all the time._

"I go back to that December night all the time!" she finshed.

He stood up abruptly.

"So what do want me to do? Owl Astoria and tell her 'oh, I'm sorry, my ex-girlfriend wants me back so we're over', is that what you want me to do?" he said with crossed arms and a stiff back.

"No. I don't want that. I just want to go back to December and make everything right again. But I can't, and I don't want you to do anything."

She continued, "Just do whatever you think is right for you, what you want. Do what makes you truly happy. If you find happiness with Astoria, then stay with her and be _happy_."

"This is what I want." And it was then that she noticed how close he had gotten to her.

And he kissed her. Sweetly, hesitantly, as if it were the first time they'd ever kissed. Her arms immediately wrapped around his neck, as if on instinct.

She didn't know how long they stood there kissing in front of the swings, on a chilly February night at 10 pm. All she knew was that she never wanted it too end.

_And I think about the summer all the beautiful times, I watched you laughing from the passenger side, realized that I loved you in the fall._

As they kissed she remembered the first summer they spent together.

"**What's this called?"**

"**A gear shift"**

"**If it's a shifty gear, then why is labeled prindle?"**

"**P-R-N-D-L-, it stands for park, reverse, neutral, drive and low."**

"**I still don't get it."**

"**Well that's because you're a dunce."**

"**Nah might be 'cause you're a douche."**

"**I officially give up on trying to teach you how to drive."**

"**Oh shut up you pointy headed prat."**

"**Ouch. That stings."**

"**Only because it's true! Ooohhh! Look! Ice cream! Let's stop for some! Please?"**

"…"

"**Please?"**

"…"

"**Come on! You know you wanna!"**

"**Fine."**

"**YAY! I SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!"**

"**Thank you for that, now I can't hear out of my right ear!"**

_You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye._

He pulled away and gently rested his forehead against hers, gently closing his eyes.

"I wish I could go back in time and change what happened that night, but I can't. So if the chain is on your door I understand." Her softly spoken words made him quickly lift his lids.

"I wouldn't be able to keep away from you if I tried. Which I won't."

"Can you, um, would you mind if I asked you um-"

"Spit it out" he interrupted.

"Could you just hold me? Like old times?" she said so quickly he almost thought he heard her wrong.

The hug that followed was not romantic, it wasn't passionate, it certainly wasn't enchanting, it was purely _Ginny and Draco_.

"I missed you"

"I missed you too." He didn't say these words softly as she did, he said them clearly, like he wanted the world to hear him.

_I miss your pale skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right, and how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry._

"God, I missed you so much, everything about you, your albino skin, your rare smile, _my smile_, how you were so great to me, even when I didn't deserve it, I miss the I felt in your arms the first time you saw me cry."

His only response was to hold her tighter, as if afraid this was a too good dream he might wake up from.

"I love you"

He froze, not quite believing what he had just heard.

"What did you say?" came his disbelieving tone.

"I said I love you" she said in a loud clear voice, with no room for mistakes.

"Say it again" he whispered carefully.

"I love you!"

"One more time, please."

"I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS!" she shouted into the night.

Her shouted declaration of love turned into delighted laughter that filled the night as Draco picked up in a crushing hug and spun her around so many times they were both laughing and dizzy by the time he set her down.

"I'm not engaged to Astoria."

"What? You lied to me?" came her half choked response.

"Yes" he said theatrically, " I just wanted to get a reaction out of you, you know, to make you jealous."

"I can't find it in me to be angry at you, or even annoyed at you"

"That's just because you love me so much" he declared pompously.

"And don't you forget it!" she said proudly.

"Trust me I won't" was he had to say before he swept her up into his arms for a scorching kiss that made her toes curl in pleasure and her mouth moan into his.

What followed shortly after Draco side-long apparted them to his flat, is not something anyone under the age 18 should have to witness, or in this case read about.


End file.
